Cheech, Chong & Pokemon
by Burn-it
Summary: I came up w/ this wierd fic I came up w/. You'll probably like this fic if you've seen Cheech & Chong's Up in Smoke.


Cheech, Chong, and Pokemon  
  
(I have no ownership of Cheech and Chong.  Nor do I have ownership of Pokemon.  However, the pokemon, maro-wonna, is my own creation.  Burn-it apparently liked my idea for a crossover with Pokemon, and Cheech and Chong.  So here it is.  By the way, Burn-it, you asked for it.  So don't try and make me feel guilty about it like you did about making Ray a lesbian.)  
  
  
  
Narrator- We find our heroes in the middle of…  Hey, you're not our heroes.  
  
The scene opens to see Cheech and Chong standing in the middle of a forest.  
  
Cheech- That's the last time we takin' directions from a guy name James.  
  
Chong- Man, that's kind of cruel, man.  
  
Cheech- Well, okay.  Just don't trust that guy with blue hair.  
  
Chong- Yeah really, man.  That guy was stoned or something, man.  
  
Cheech- I wonder where we are?  
  
Chong- I don't know, man.  DUDE, LOOK AT THAT!  
  
Chong points at an on coming bellsprout.  
  
Bellsprout- Sprout sprout bellsprout sprout.  (Great, they had to throw ME in here.)  
  
Cheech- Hey man, it's a talkin' flower!  
  
Chong- Let's smoke it!  
  
Bellsprout- Sprout?  (Smoke?)  Bell bellsprout bellsprout sprout.  (I hope they don't mean what I think they mean.)  
  
Chong pulls out a lighter, and advances towards the bellsprout.  
  
Bellsprout- AAAAH! (AAAH!) SPROUT BELL BELLSPROUT BELL!  (Curse you Burn- it, this is your fault!)  
  
The bellsprout runs away, but Cheech and Chong chase after it.  
  
  
  
Narrator- Finally, here are our heroes.  
  
We find Ash Misty and Brock standing around in the forest.  Pikachu sits on Ash's shoulder as usual.  
  
Narrator- Well, Ash is on his way to whatever the hell the next league challenge is.  And it looks like he has his hopes up high.  Yes sir.  Looks like Ash is…  
  
Ash- FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SHUT UP!  
  
Narrator- Well, I was just doing my job, but I guess I'm not wanted.  Fine, see if I care.  
  
The sound of a microphone switching followed by someone walking out of a room occurs.  
  
Brock- Way to go, Ash.  You just got rid of yet another narrator.  
  
Misty- That has to be the third narrator we wasted on this whole show.  
  
Pikachu- Pi pikachu.  (You suck).  
  
Ash- What?  I thought that guy was rather anoying.  
  
Pikachu- Chu pika pika kachu pika.  (If I didn't save you from those Spearows, you'd say I sucked!  GET OVER IT!)  
  
Suddenly, the Bellsprout Cheech and Chong were chasing ran by.  Cheech and Chong are not to far behind.  
  
Chong- That must be what they use to make speed, man!  That thing's too fast to be smoke.  
  
Cheech- I dunno what that is, man, but we gonna smoke it!  
  
Chong- I don't think you smoke…  
  
Chong crashes into Misty, while Cheech crashes into a nearby tree.  
  
Cheech- Ooh, I won't be movin' for a while.  God, man, I feel like that George of the jungle guy now.  
  
Chong- Hey, this is a pretty hot looking tree, man.  
  
Misty- GET OFF ME!  
  
Chong- Whoa, sorry man.   
  
Chong stands back up, and lets Misty stand back up.  
  
Brock- Who are these guys?  
  
Ash- Do I look like I know?  
  
Pikachu- Pika ka.  (I don't know.)  
  
Chong- Hey man, it's a yellow mouse with little red spots on his cheeks.  
  
Pikachu- Pi pikachu chu pika.  (Don't make me have to zap you.)  
  
Cheech finally comes unplastered from the tree, and falls flat on his back.  He stands right back up, and sees Ash and the gang.  
  
Cheech- Ow, my frickin' head.  And I'm not even wasted.  
  
Misty- Is your friend okay?  
  
Chong- How should I know, man?  
  
  
  
Narrator- After a few minutes, Ash and…  
  
Ash- You're still here?  
  
Narrator- I would've left, but they said something about a raise if I put up with you losers.  Well anyway, our heroes were introduced to Cheech and Chong.  
  
Ash- So you guys are part of a band?  
  
Cheech- Yeah man, we called Up in Smoke.  
  
Chong- Funny story really.  They were looking for a drummer, and I happened to show up.  Although it wasn't in the actual game plan for me to where a Superman costume, or for Cheech to wear a tootoo, we got a record deal.  
  
Misty- I heard about that.  I also have all six of your CDs.  
  
Chong- Really?  
  
Misty- Well, I burned the most recent one, but I still have it.  
  
Pikachu- Pika.  (You blew it.)   
  
Ash- Say, you have any badges?  
  
Misty- Ash, you idiot!  They're part of a band!  They don't have pokemon badges.  
  
Cheech- Actually, I got this thing.  
  
He reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a green badgte with a leaf on it.  
  
Ash- Hey, I don't have a badge like that!  
  
Cheech- Want to fight for it?  
  
Brock- Oh brother.  
  
Ash- If I win, you give me the badge.  
  
Cheech- Yeah, and if I win, you help us get out of here, man.  
  
Ash- Deal!  
  
Ash throws a pokeball.  
  
Ash- I choose you, CHARRIZARD!  
  
The pokeball opens up, andshoots a beam of blue light.  The blue light molds itself into the shape of Charrizard.  
  
Cheech reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a pokeball of his own.  
  
Cheech- I choose you, MARO-WONNA!  
  
The ball pops open, and a beam of blue light shoots out.  It ends up forming a green rat with grass like hair, and red bloodshot eyes.  
  
Ash- What the hell is that thing?  
  
He pulls out the poke-dex, points it at the weird looking rat thing, and hits the button.  
  
Poke-dex- Maro-wonna.  The smoke pokemon.  When a Wheezing blows it's smoke screen attack at a marowack, and the marowack inhales the right amount of it, he evolves into maro-wonna.   This creature is well known for a combination of psychic and smoke based attacks.  
  
Cheech- Maro-wonna!  Use your bong attack!  
  
Ash- Bong attack?  
  
Maro-wonna withdraws a joint five times his size from no where, takes a puff, jumps into the air, lands on charrizard's head, and smacks him over the head with the joint till the end of it breaks in half!   
  
Ash- Charrizard, get that thing off your head!  
  
Cheech- Maro-wonna, use your smoke screen.  
  
Maro-wonna inhales, and puffs to about twice it's original width.  He  exhales, and a strange fog throws from his mouth.  Charrizard starts choking on the feums at first, but then stops.  
  
Misty- What's up with Charrizard?  
  
Brock- I know.  He looks…  Uh… High.  
  
Ash- What gives?  
  
Poke-dex- Marro-wonna's smoke screen attack works as both a way to blind the opponent, and as a form of hypnosis.  
  
Ash- In other words, if you inhale Maro-wonna's smoke, you get all goofy?  
  
Poke-dex- Yes, maro-wonna smoke is very dangerous, and should be avoided.  
  
Cheech- Now finish him off with your bong attack!  
  
A loud thud is heard as charrizard is knocked unconscious.  Cheech calls maro-wonna back, and puts the pokeball back in his pocket.  
  
Cheech- You never mess with my maro-wonna.  Or you pay big time, man!  
  
Chong- Wow, I didn't know you had that thing, man.  
  
Cheech- Yeah man, I pick pocketted it from that James idiot.  
  
Ash- James?  
  
Misty- Did he have blue hair?  
  
Cheech- Uh…  Yeah.  Why?  
  
Voice1- There you are!   
  
Voice2- Prepare for trouble.  
  
Voice1- Make that double.  
  
Ash with a sigh- oh boy.  Here it comes.  
  
They turn around, and see team Rocket's Jessie and James.   
  
Jessie- We'll spare you of our usual team Rocket motto simply because James is looking for his maro-wonna.  
  
James- Yeah man!  Why'd you steal my maro-wonna?  I need that!  
  
Chong- For what?  
  
James- Because Geovonny's going to kill me if I don't give him that maro- wonna!  
  
Cheech- No way, man.  This maro-wonna's cool, man.  And you're not taking it from me!  
  
Jessie- Very well.  Arboc!  
  
Jessie throws her pokeball, and the blue beam of light shoots out and forms the purple snake called arboc.  
  
Chong- Yo man, looks like we have to use our maro-wonna to get out of…  
  
Pikachu- CHU! (NO TRANSLATION).  
  
Arboc is electricuted, and falls flat.  
  
Jessie- What? You're here too?  
  
James- Oh it's hopeless.  I'll never get my maro-wonna back!  Curse you maro-wonna thieves!  I want my maro-wonna back!  
  
Jessie- Don't worry, we'll get your stupid maro-wonna back.  We'll just have to leave for now.  
  
The two team rocket members run away.  
  
Misty- I swear, if those two don't stop following us, I might as well forget about pokemon battling, and use my fists instead!  
  
Chong- Dude!  You'd fight a pokemon?  
  
A long pause.  
  
Ash- Well, I guess we should help you get to wherever.  
  
  
  
Narrator- Maybe these two idiots will show me more respect.  Here we find Team Rocket planning for their next attack.  
  
James- It's useless!  I'm never going to get that maro-wonna back.   
  
Jessie- Do you ever shut up?  We have to find a way to get that pikachu, and your maro-wonna.  
  
James- I just wish Meowth weren't in the vet getting his anthrax vaccine.  He could've helped us come up with a plan to get my maro-wonna back!  
  
Jessie- Please.  Meowth couldn't plan his way out of a paper bag.   
  
James- Hey, do you hear something?  
  
Two Jennies pop out of a nearby bush.  
  
Jenny1- Freeze!  
  
Jenny2- You're under arrest for possession of illegal substances.  
  
James- You mean Dr. Pepper's illegal?  I swear, I had no idea!  FORGIVE ME!  
  
Jenny1- Actually, we heard your little disgussion about marijuanna.  
  
James- Oh.  Well you see, some punks took my maro-wonna, and now we're trying to…  
  
Jessie- James, if you keep talking, I'll have to hurt you.  
  
Jenny2- You have the right to remain silent.  Anything you…  What the?  
  
She sees Team Rocket make a run for it.  
  
Jenny2- After them!  
  
  
  
Narrator- Well, it appears that Cheech and Chong as well as our heroes have found their way out of the forest.   
  
Cheech- Hey man, thanks a lot.  I wish we could repay you somehow.  
  
Chong- I have a joint neither of us smoked yet.  Maybe one of them would want it.  
  
Pikachu- CHU!  (Dibs.)  
  
Cheech- Man, I don't know about that.  This guy look a little young for smokin', man.  
  
Chong- Well, what about the other guy?  
  
Cheech- Nah, I don't think so, man.  WAIT!  I got it!  
  
Cheech reaches into his pocket, and pulls out  what look like tickets.  
  
Cheech- Here man.  These are some front row seats too, man.  
  
Chong- Hey, why didn't I think of that?  
  
Cheech- I dunno.  You high?  
  
Chong- Not yet.  
  
  
  
Narrator- Days went by before Up in Smoke's big concert event.  But finally, the big day came.  Unfortunately, the band wasn't there yet.  And ironically, some other people were.  
  
Jessie- This is all your fault!  
  
James- Me?  What did I do?  
  
Jessie- They heard you talking about that stupid pokemon you wanted so bad, and thought we weer talking about drugs.  
  
James- I can't help it.  I love my maro-wonna.  I just wish that hippy didn't take it when I wasn't looking!  
  
The Jennies show up.  
  
Jenny 2- There you are!  
  
A big chase sequence occurs, and ends when Jessie and James jump into a closet.  
  
Jessie- Quick, put on a costume!  
  
The jennies run by the closet, not knowing Jessie and James are hiding inside.  They both walk out to reveal Jessie wearing a Superman costume, and James wearing a tootoo.  
  
James- Uh, Jessie.  I think I have your costume.  
  
Jessie- Shut up!  
  
Jenny2- There they are!  
  
Jenny1- Wait a minute.  That's Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong!  The singer and drummer to Up in Smoke.  
  
Jenny1- I didn't know Cheech had blue hair.  
  
James with bad mexican accent- Uh yeah, I just dyed it yesterday.  It's my new thing.  
  
Jenny1- Rockers.  Go figure.  
  
The Jennies walk away.  
  
Jessie- That was close.  
  
James- See, I'm not a total airhead.  
  
Voice- What the hell are you doing here?  
  
Jessie and James turn around to see Geovonny.  
  
Jessie- Geovonny?  What are you doing here?  
  
Geovonny- I had a backstage pass, but apparently, the band isn't here yet.  Why the hell are you in drag?  Don't make this into a blackheart745 story!  
  
James panics, and jumps into the closet.  He pops back out with a neon green jumpsuit, and a red cowboy hat.  
  
Geovonny- Well…  Uh…  It's an improvement.  
  
Jessie- I don'tsee why you guys hate Blackheart745 so much.  I find his ideas pretty funny.  
  
Geovonny- You have no idea what he did to Sailor Mars,do you?  
  
Jessie- Ah come on, everybody goes through that phase of life once and a while.  Heck, James…  
  
James- SHUT UP!  You promised you wouldn't tell anyone!  
  
Jessie- Sorry.  
  
Geovonny- I'll tell you too airheads this much.  I'm having a good day right now.  Get out of here before you ruin it like usual!  
  
  
  
Narrator- Finally, the big concert came.  Up in Smoke played all sorts of songs.  "Pothead Life", the rock version of the D12s' "Blue Yellow Purple Pills", "Soberness equals Pain", and their world famous cover of Tenacious D's "Kielbasa Sausage".  Then came the big song.  The song that got them started in the music business.  
  
(Song- Unknown title.  Band- Cheech and Chong/Korn.  CD- Korn's follow the leader.  Track- Very last track.)  
  
(Cheech)  
  
Odelay!  
  
My mama's talkin' to me, try to tell me how to live,  
  
but I don't listen to her 'cause my head is like a sieve.  
  
My daddy, he disowned me 'cause I wear my sisters clothes.  
  
He caught me in the bathroom with a pair of pantyhose.  
  
My basketball coach, he done kick me off the team.  
  
For wearing high heel sneakers and acting like a queen.  
  
Gonna tie my p@@ker to a tree, to a tree.  
  
Gonna tie my p##ker to a tree.  
  
)Chong)  
  
Gonna tie his p##ker to a tree.  
  
Get your boogie on.  
  
Go Head.  
  
(Cheech)  
  
The earth is coming to an end and I don't give a damn.  
  
As long as I have my b##ch, oh I'm a f@@k you.  
  
It don't bother me, if people think I'm funny.  
  
Cause I'm a big rock star, and I'm makin' lots of money!Money! Money! Money! Money!  
  
(Chong)  
  
Are you talking pesos?  
  
(Cheech)  
  
Money, ka-ching! Ka-ching!  
  
Lots of money. [x3]  
  
I'm so bloody rich!  
  
Lots of money.  
  
Lots of muthaf@@kin' money.  
  
I get rich. I own shopping centers, and parking lots,  
  
and…  Stuff, and all that sh@t!  I own you! You too! You three!  For me, hee hee, hoh hoh.  
  
  
  
With one loud symbol crash, and guitar chord, the song ends.  The roar of the audience fills the stadium.  
  
Cheech- Thank you, and good night ladies and gentlemen!  
  
Misty- Wow!  I didn't think they were going to play that song, but WAM!  Second oncore!  
  
Ash- You were right.  These guys rule!  
  
Pikachu- Pi pikachu.  (I thought they sucked.)  
  
Misty- It's funny really.  That's the only band where the drummer is also the back up vocalist.  
  
Broc- Well, we better get going.  
  
Narrator- And so it was.  The amazing Up in Smoke rocked the house with their greatest hits.   
  
  
  
We find Jessie and James being escorted to a squad car by the two Jennies.   
  
Jenny1- You're going away for a long time mister.  
  
James- No, I told you.  It's not Marijuanna!  It's maro-wonna!  The pokemon!  
  
Jenny2- What?  
  
Jenny1- You mean all this time you were talking about someone stealing your pokemon?  
  
James- Yes!  
  
Jenny2- Damn I wish you would've said something.   
  
Jenny1- Don't worry, maybe that'll lower the number of years you'll be spending in jail for everything else you've done 


End file.
